Enjoy your Mondays, hate your Fridays

I find when people tell me how much they hate Mondays and how much they love Fridays, I get annoyed. Thanks, Captain Obvious, for pointing out that the last day of work before free time is better than the first day back to work from free time.

What I really can't stand is that people act like the hatred of Mondays is somehow ground-breaking. Oh you hate Mondays? Garfield hates Mondays! And.... Everybody else who works an office job.

Exactly. What really gets me are Tuesdays.

It's Tuesdays you have to watch out for.

I don't have anything against Mondays, I just hate the productivity spikes on Mondays and Fridays. Everyone starts sending requests and meeting invites on Monday as if they just learned how to use Outlook. Then, nothing really happens from Tuesday to Thursday (which makes the week long and boring). You spend all week putting back together the pieces of fragmented information co-workers threw at you on Monday. Finally, on Friday, everyone tries to finish everything they ever started so they can "enjoy the weekend". This is followed by them throwing more requests at you along with highly unrealistic deadlines.

Aside from the productivity spikes, I find it bizarre that we're so unable to connect with our co-workers that all we can talk about is how much we hate Mondays, how we can't wait for Fridays, and every little change in the weather. We've all suddenly become meteorologists in our efforts to avoid communicating with each other.

Enjoy the Mondays, maybe play a little "drinking game" with popcorn instead of alcohol. Annoy the staff by popping popcorn in the shared microwave and then eat a kernel each time you overhear some ridiculous comment about Monday or something about the weather.

Instead, choose to hate the Fridays, because that's the day people throw everything at you with no realistic timeline to accomplish it because they procrastinated. 

HR Skeletons in the Age of Information

It used to be that when you worked for an organization, aside from a background check, there was no real way of knowing who you worked with. Was there a sex offender in your cubicle row? Was Brenda from accounting really a stripper on the weekends? Sadly, I have worked with both strippers and sex offenders. Why sadly for BOTH? Well, in case you weren't aware, sex offenders have committed a sexual crime.

Oh you mean the strippers? Well, I don't know if you have had the pleasure of working with a stripper before, but lets just say that the daddy issues often accompany them. They won't think twice about using their assets to score perks on the job. They were paid to do it time and again!

I'm not being judgmental. Somewhere out there, a stripper with a "heart-of-gold" is offended. I am only speaking in generalizations, hun. Keep those necklines high and your nose in your books and we're good.

Thanks to the ever-impressive (and time wasting) internets, you can Google-stalk your way around your entire office. However, the things you will see, cannot be unseen. Be prepared for the consequences of your keywords. It could be eye-opening and scary.

This is a double edged sword, you know. What you think might be hidden in your personal life, could be recreational reading to your co-workers. That weekend in Miami could be watercooler gossip if you are not careful. You think you were cool when you posted the pic of you doing shots out of your beach BFF's belly button, but I assure you, it gets less cool the older you get.