Violent Encounters with Co-Workers: A Hate Story

I used to work in a non-profit where individuals could donate their "gently-used" goods and we would resell it to fund a variety of good causes. I am purposely being vague since I am about to dish some serious dirt about a co-worker that I once managed.

Here's what you need to know about Jackie*. She was a section supervisor directly reporting to me or one of two other managers depending on who was working the shift. Since we administered HR functions in addition to various other tasks, I was definitely in a place where my actions pissed off a lot of people.

Jackie was in a position where she got to pre-screen the donated goods. It's not infrequent that a wealthy couple will donate their old designer goods to the organization. As it happens, Jackie enjoyed designer items and also got a kick out of selling them too. I don't often use the term "label whore", but when I do, I am referring to Jackie.




When I say "label-whore", this is what I think of.

 Turns out, our stock of fine, designer items dropped when Jackie was in the building. Some of us knew this was no coincidence. We were the people Jackie labeled "haters" and accused of being "out to get her". That's usually a sign someone is up to no good. The other sign would be the fact that they were overly suspicious of people who asked simple questions like, "have you noticed a drop in high quality donations?"

Asking about one's opinion on whether we should be concerned about donation volume would generally send Jackie into sputtering accusations. Here are some of the classics:

"I know what you are sayin', always trying to accuse me of something."

"I bet you think that just because we are [insert random protected class here], we are always stealing."

Funny, the people who are the worst employees seem to have the most HR law knowledge...

Anyways, I caught her one day making a "hand-off" of designer bags via a camera. Once she was fired for stealing, ejected from the premises kicking and screaming (word to the wise, always fire before everyone gets there or after they leave), I thought she was gone for good.

A few months later, I am washing my car at a local self-service car wash with a friend when suddenly Jackie pulls up behind me. She recognized my car immediately and came up to me. I was a little caught off guard and said 'hi' reluctantly.

Jackie screamed in my face and backed me up against the car wash wall. My very tall male friend was (fortunately) with me and able to stop what would have likely been a 'beat-down'. (No, I am not stereotyping, that was the threat that was screamed at me)

Moral of the story? It can be very dangerous to fire someone. If you are in a position where you are forced to write-up or fire an unstable co-worker, make sure you document behaviors and take whatever precautions you can. Bitches be crazy.

*Name may or may not have been changed. You'll never know because I won't tell!

Calculating the Destructive Force of the Office Gossip

We all know the office gossip. The "mean girl" (or boy) who sets out to make it their mission to spread hot information among the cubicle masses. While this isn't illegal, or always an issue, it can certainly suck for those of us who do not wish to engage. The tricky part for managers, human resource professionals, and annoyed co-workers is being able to tell whether the gossip is destructive (Mean Girls) or harmless (the View). It is really coffee talk? Or is this person a destructive, super-bitch? This is where I have actual education and experience, so perhaps you can reserve a little more credibility for my thoughts (over the typical grain-of-salt variety).

The first step in assessing your chatty Cathy is to look at how the person gossips. Here's a quick test for the type of gossip your office fosters.

Harmless Gossip = Discussions of celebrity nonsense and who's getting married next month. Done publicly, perhaps in the break room or at the copier.

Destructive Gossip = Discussion of negative and/or personal information about co-workers or related individuals. Done more privately in a "hushed-tone" or behind closed doors.

Do you have a "harmless gossip"? Your best bet is to put up with the constant chatter of who Kim Kardashian is currently screwingseeing, as long as these people are still productive. Look, it's who they ARE. Some people are really fascinated with other people's lives. Think of it like that lady who obsesses over her cats. You may not care whether Mittens has had bowel issues lately, but that's what you put up with to keep the peace. Smile politely and excuse yourself. Heck, perhaps watch five minutes of TMZ and make this person's day.

Do you have a "destructive gossip"? You will know because they often like to awkwardly spread which co-worker had a fling with a board member or even make up things to suit their ulterior motives. Honestly, avoiding these people often makes you the target, but since these spineless bottom-feeders could turn on you in a heartbeat, avoid them. Say your polite "hello" and move on. These people can ruin targeted employees reputations.

In my experience, destructive gossips are either really pathetic people who must create conflict to have any sense of power or people who make themselves look better by tearing down others (or both). Most organizations don't take the complaints on these people seriously. Keep out of it if you can and never trust these people.

I have seen a destructive gossip take down more than a few smart professionals. They are worthless leeches in any company, but the risk of firing them is often perceived as too great for management.