The Art of Ass Kissing

This is a post that won't tip-toe softly on the office politics of ass kissery. We all have done at least some form of it. But those random moments of sucking up aren't what I am referring to.



It's the chronic ass kissers who really annoy me and the dense individuals who cannot see through it.

Why on earth does anyone think that ass kissery of any form elevates the workplace? It doesn't. Not only does it induce episodes of gagging, but it makes your office a douche-y place to work. Do you really want to have an office full of douche-baggery? I sure as hell don't.

Why is this post so profane, you ask? Because that is what gets through to people.

Here's a simple guide to stopping ass kissery before it becomes an epidemic.

1. Like any outbreaks, quarantine the ass kissers to a part of the office where they won't be irritating the productive people.

2. Tell managers they should foster an environment of mutual respect and honestly. Discourage flattery and fluff by asking employees to be honest and open.

3. Create a zero tolerance policy for rewarding favors. Giving ass kissers raises they don't deserve does no one good.

In all seriousness, if you are an ass kisser, it will only get you so far. There always comes a point where performance alone will matter. It would serve you well to divert that energy into your work. Shameless flattery is really nauseating.